Mental Health First Aid Tool: The Physiological Sigh
Sometimes, the difference between coping and not coping, between feeling at capacity and feeling overwhelmed can be determined by such small changes that, on reflection, we can hardly believe it. For such moments, I offer the physiological sigh. It’s a simple exercise and might help provide you with some extra space to respond to a difficult situation, rather than react to it. This is a fine distinction, but an important one. Where reactions feel automatic, a response involves empowered choice.
Perhaps an example might help.
Picture the scene: you’re driving to work, lost in thoughts of the day to come. You’ve made the journey (what feels like) a thousand times before, so you’re on autopilot. But today is a little different. Perhaps you’re already late - the morning routine derailed by uncooperative children or pets, you misplaced your phone, or your bed was warm and comfortable, and you hit snooze one too many times.
Suddenly, an (expletive deleted) car cuts across your lane. Your moment of panic brings the present into sharp focus, instantly you’re slamming on your horn, or the accelerator, to catch up and give the idiot a piece of your mind. You’re raging – your face flushed, heart racing, hands shaking as you grip the wheel. Maybe you’re already shouting or screaming at the driver, the heavens, or your meticulously dressed children, being noisy or oblivious (or both) in the back seat.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Many of us find daily life to be increasingly stressful. We’re often struggling to meet the constant demands of work and home, weighed down by a general sense that things are getting worse, and dealing with an unrelenting news cycle that bombards us with everything that’s going wrong with the world. We’re rarely offered anything but a bleak picture of what our future holds.
Against this backdrop, our own sense of control, self-esteem, and ability to cope can feel compromised. If we imagine our capacity to manage stress as an empty cup, then it’s filling up fast. It’s hardly surprising that we sometimes spill.
But this can mean we find ourselves reacting in ways that we didn’t want to, and losing control can often cause more problems. Perhaps we end up shouting at someone who didn’t deserve it, a partner, relative or friend – or even an unsuspecting stranger. We may lash out, or ‘lose it’, behaving in ways that feel out of character. And so, our cup fills a little more, and so it goes on. For many of us, this will feel like a very familiar story. None of these reactions are ‘wrong’ – the fear, the panic, the adrenaline response – are all very normal, but we wish for things to be just a little easier. I offer the following tool that might help.
The physiological sigh is simple:
Inhale deeply through your nose.
When your lungs feel almost full, take a second, shorter inhale.
Exhale slowly through your mouth.
Repeat two or three times.
As you can see, this requires you to do nothing but take control of your breathing. It’s an in-the-moment tool to lower your stress levels. A biological intervention, not a psychological one.
I’d recommend experimenting with it in situations when you first notice yourself starting to feel stressed out. Checking in with how you’re feeling is a powerful tool in itself. Consider the following: Where in your body do you feel stress? For some it’s in the shoulders or neck, for others the face. Where is it for you?
And notice the before and after when performing the sigh. How does it feel?
The sigh works because it allows you to take in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide efficiently. This, in turn, activates the parasympathetic nervous system that has a calming effect on the body. But don’t take my word for it - give it a try. I hope you find this useful.
If what I’m describing is becoming a more frequent experience for you, then perhaps you might consider counselling. It can support you in lowering stress over time, getting to know yourself better and developing your ability to understand yourself and cope better with challenges. In the meantime, if you need something in the moment to pivot to, I hope the physiological sigh can help.
